Soulmate BLOG

Women are complicated creatures. It is true, and all you ladies know it. In some aspects, women are not much different than men; in others as the author John Gray famously quips: “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus”. Although we may not base everything off a physical attraction in the beginning, many of us have to admit that if it is not there, we generally do not pursue anything more then a friendship with a person of the opposite gender. There are those occasions where that friendship can develop and later turn romantic, but to have initial romantic intent with someone we are not physically attracted to seldom ever happens. In a way, you have to admit women can be as shallow as men.

The main difference lies between men and women in the amount of time it takes them to determine if they are really into a prospective partner or not. Men can pretty much tell within a couple dates if they would consider a woman for anything more then just someone to kill time, or hang out with; playing it just enough to keep it at that level. However, even with that little of a level of attention, some woman will take that interest as an indicator that the man has possibilities for something more and will read things into these weak signals such as he is just scared, or some other made up scenario that fits the moment. This is where it would be nice if men should just come straight out and say where they stand. Such as if their only interest is a friend level with or without the accompanying benefits. Nevertheless, even if they did, you will always still have a certain population of women who will read more into it; but most smart women know that the level of interest, if stated, is never going to be of a walk down the isle exchanging vows. At least then, each could decide to possibly continue a relationship in the type that may work for both parties.

On the other hand, smart women for the most part know what they want, or where they would like to see a relationship progress. They definitely know what they do not want; conversely, smart women will take the time to feel the man out in a sense in different situations before totally considering anything long-term. When a woman has children, they will even take extra precautions and consider in the male influence aspect of the man in their life. Women, when seeking for a possible mate are seeking a life long arrangement, and not so much for the moment. If a women does not see the potential in a partner for a long-term committed relationship they may quickly lose interest. In looking for a long-term committed relationship, a woman will take their time in deciding if their partner has the qualities they are seeking in a committed relationship.

Attraction level is a completely different story however. Women can be just as superficial, or shallow, as men are; and determine within 30 seconds or less if they are attracted to a man. Some women can do it with just a mere glance and make a determination if they can picture the relationship (on some level) going any further based on only the physical aspect, yet they won’t necessarily be as quick as a man to rule it out if they are not initially physically attracted. Just because a woman may not necessarily feel the zing in the jeans upon first glance does not mean they toss out the window all possibilities of the man being dating material. Women will investigate further and it is upon conversation and mannerisms that a woman decides if a man is worthy of a second date. Over time and interaction of behaviors, attitudes, speech, chemistry, and personality they determine if the man is a good fit for them personally.

Women want to see and experience a mans personality, what he is really like in all aspects of his life, not just on his best behavior on a first date. A woman can find a man attractive initially and later, because of their personality become totally turned off by him. This is not to say that men do not experience the same thing, they do. Nevertheless, physical attraction and shallowness is not just a male owned trait, it is a built in instinct in both men and women. The only difference is that men will act on a physical attraction alone, and many times do so immediately. This leads them to suffering the consequences of not getting to know a woman on a deeper level first finding them in some rather difficult predicaments. Smart women apply common sense, reason, logic, emotion, etc on top of the initial attraction when selecting a mate.

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