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Understanding What He Needs

By pleasehelpme, on June 28th, 2009

My husband and I are coming up on our 2nd wedding anniversary.  When we had been dating for about 4 months, I finally realized that he has a foot fetish.  He explained to me that through the years before we met, that was all he had focused on and had never truly been in love.  Until he met me.  I am totally okay with his fetish and told him, but he said he had never had feet and love wrapped up in one woman.  I feel that if a man isn’t getting what he sexually needs, he will stray.  How can I help him understand, that it turns me on too and that I want to explore the fetish part?  I want to be the 100% that he has been looking for and have even told him that I would consider letting him have another woman for that part of his sexual needs as long as it was arranged through me.  The reason for this, is its not the sex part that I feel threatened by, its the phone conversations between him and her that I would fear most.  He has told me that my feet are “perfect”  he’s just scared to take the risk.  We are married for Gods sake and I’m confused:  I would think that a man would be thrilled that I’m as open as I am about it.  Anyone have any advice?

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June 28th, 2009 | Category: The Rest of the Stuff | 3 comments

3 comments to Understanding What He Needs

  • Lovely
    July 6th, 2009 at 2:45 pm

    I think at the start that should be not unusual that he loves a certain part of your body, as we all women and men have our own likes and dislikes. Also, maybe some people think feet are not a sexual object but some do and that is fine. What should matter now is that his fettish did turn into true feelings for you and sounds like it did since your married for two years.

    So if it ain’t broke dont need to try fixing it. I would suggest open communication with your husband about how he feels and ayb you both can list how your love has deepened over time.

    Plus, I learned as a fact_passion decreases over time. that will happen in any relationship, but you can spice it up, maybe by some toe rings:)

  • Contrarian contrarian
    June 28th, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    His fetish sounds harmless to me; but I am not one to decide on someones mental well being. I had a guy I dated that was into some unusual things. They scared me at first, then became exciting, and finally boring because that was all he wanted to do. I would say if it is only added to your lovemaking it’s a plus, if he uses it instead then – well a professional should comment on that.

  • Ms. Soulmate Ms. Soulmate
    June 28th, 2009 at 12:03 pm

    Well PlaeseHelpMe, I think you explained it very well in your post. If you can’t explain it to him the same way why not suggest he read this “interesting” post on our blog. Maybe if he reads your feelings and full acceptance that will convince him of your commitment, and nonjudgmental love, for him whatever his “quirks”.

    Thanks for your post and I hope this will help your situation.

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