Soulmate BLOG

It is a completely new ballgame out in the dating field after you peak the age of 35.  You are at the age where you may still feel young, but the number can be discouraging for some, and by the time you reach 50 years of age the game comes with even more changes.  So, what is new in the dating game after the age of 35 and just how does one go about finding love?  Well men your age are dating younger women and women your age are dating younger men, however there are just so many younger men that want to date older women and just so many men your age that want to date in your age bracket.  Sound complicated, wait until you hit the singles scene.  No, it isn’t as scary as I just made it appear, however can take some getting use to being back out on the market again.

By the time the mid 30’s hit and you are single either due to a failed relationship or choice and you decide to hit the dating scene, most in this age bracket, especially women, are doing so to find their soul mate, their one and only and are looking to settle down and get married.  Men on the other hand in the mid 30 bracket are looking to have fun and if the right one comes along at that time, great, if not, they are not sweating it just yet, at least not until they turn the 40 mark.

For women, finding a man at the same stage in life as you in the same age bracket can be a bit tricky.  There are some out there in their mid 30’s looking to settle down, however they are generally looking in the age bracket of mid 20 to just 30-age bracket.  So, ask yourself what is the oldest age bracket you are willing to explore, however don’t lock yourself in totally.  You be surprised how many men are out there in their mid 40’s to early 50’s that still feel as young as a 35 year old and look good too.  However, in this age bracket you are more likely to find a man who has the same desire as you to settle down with their soul mate.

If you are in a relationship, be realistic and set a mental deadline of how long you are willing to pursue this relationship with out any form of future commitment.  Are you seriously willing to stay in a relationship in this stage of your life for five years just to find out that your partner has no intentions on ever getting married?  That puts you at 40 and starting all over again people.  Not that you can’t start over again at 40 or even 50 for that matter, but just have some sort of realistic expectation of what you would like to se take place in your relationship.  This time frame can be extended if the situation presents positive to do so or shortened by all means if you are not getting any signals that there is a future commitment possible.

By our mid 30’s we can be pretty set in our ways.  That is not necessarily a bad thing however it can make you present as a stick in the mud or worse yet, unapproachable.  It can also cause conflict in a relationship.  You have to be able to bend some, compromise, and let your guard down some in dating and in a relationship.  Do not be afraid to try something new or go outside of your normal routine.  Broaden your horizons some; you will be surprised on many things you are missing out on.

In your 40’s all the above applies however you will find many more singles out looking for their soul mate in your age group then you may have imagined.  Most singles in this age group are so due to divorce or a series of failed relationships.  Very few are single do to a life choice.  At this stage of the game, you need to brush up on your small talk and get comfortable initiating talk.  You ay also want to update your appearance and dress for the times.  You can still do that without compromising who you are as a person, honest.

If you are recently divorced, give yourself adequate time to heal and find out who you are as a single person first before hitting the dating circuit.  It may take some trail and errors before you get the dating scene down, just don’t give up.  With every date you learn a little more and become more comfortable in knowing what you really are seeking in a partner.

If you have kids at home, proceed with caution.  Do not introduce your dates to your children until you have dated an adequate amount of time and feel that the relationship is really going to amount to something.  .

In your 50’s and finding yourself single, all the above applies to you as well and yes, you are still dating material and you still can start a new solid committed relationship.  Your dating style may be altered some form that of the 30’s and 40’s crowd, as single clubs and bar scenes are more then likely less then appealing to you now, however there are still many other avenues where you can meet your soul mate.

A tip to keep in mind when you fall into the 50’s age bracket is intimacy does not need to be dead.  Do not use work, family responsibilities, or your age to avoid intimacy.  Now is the perfect time to join an online dating site.  It will help you brush up on your communication skills with the opposite sex and possibly even find your soul mate.  Get involved in groups, clubs, or volunteer organizations to broaden your group of friends and acquaintances.  You may not meet the partner of your dream personally, but some one you meet may very well help steer you to that connection.

Keep in mind that statistically men marry within three years of their age bracket.  This does not limit you to just that bracket but ups your chance of a long-term commitment.  It is never too late to begin a new romance or relationship.  However, regardless of what age bracket you are in, be it your 30’s or 50’s, have realistic expectations.  You may not capture the heart of the next best thing to Tom Cruise or Tom Selleck for that matter or Angelina Jolie or Julie Roberts, but you just may very well capture the heart of a diamond in the rough.