Soulmate BLOG

There really are a lot of pros and cons in regards to going out with a group of people to meet single men or women.  On the pro side, you are safer; however, one of the negatives is that you have more competition.  Seriously, when you are with a larger group of people men and women a like, look for the best looking one out of the crowd and that is where their interest lies.  Now if you are the best looking one in your group you could strike it lucky, but yet here is another con.  If you are he best looking in the group one of two things can happen, one, you get hit on by ever man regardless of edibility status or two, all the eligible men think you are already taken and that you are just out helping your less then desirable friends try to find a hook up.  In that later of the two scenarios you can bet no eligible men are going to approach you because they will fear the “She is a really great person, you should get to know my friend” persuasion talk which of course leaves you getting no play whatsoever.

Going out in a pack is not the best way to meet people; however, going alone in some situations is not safe or wise.  So what is the best way to get out and meet people when you are single?  Depending on the situation and location of the outing will help determine an appropriate number to hang with and an idea of what to expect when out on the prowl.

If you are familiar with the community and know a regular or two at a local bar, you can get by going solo as a woman.  Men can always get by going into a bar solo; that is a benefit of being a man.  However, if you are a woman and not real familiar with a local bar, but hear it is a great spot to stop and meet other singles after a days work, go with a friend or two the first few times, (never consecutively through a week).  When you develop a rapport with the bartender or a friendly regular then you are pretty safe going alone as long as you monitor your alcohol intake.  Over indulging in alcohol is never wise.  For one thing, it makes you vulnerable, and secondly it can severely cloud ones judgment leaving you regretting things later, and lastly, can make it appear as if you have a problem with alcohol.  Moreover, seriously women, a lush is what a man takes home for only one reason, and it is not to meet the parents.

If you do go to the local bar, go with only one or two other women.  Going in a pack, to any scene for that matter can be intimidating for men.  Not only do they have to worry if they pass your qualifications, but that of all your friends as well.  Everyone knows how friends can be sometimes over protective at times and at other times, especially if alcohol is involved; assist in you pursuing something that you would have not otherwise pursued.

When going out with friends to meet an eligible man or women, go with a friend or two that you are close with, and they have a clue as to who you are and what you prefer in a possible date.  There is nothing worse then feeling ganged up on to “talk” to someone you do not have the slightest bit of interest in.  True friends will know what you would or would not consider.  In a pack, you risk the gang effect that much more.  With just one or two other individuals, if you are a bit more on the reserved side you have the extra support to make a possible move that you would have otherwise dodged at all cost.

Have an understanding with your co-partners in your night out on the unwritten rules.  Has it been agreed on that you leave together, leaving no one behind regardless?  On the other hand, is it understood if one meets someone they would like to entertain further that it is okay for the others to leave?  Generally, the best rule of thumb is to agree to leave with whom you came with.  Not only is it safe, but even if you do meet someone of interest you will know if they are truly interested in you if they call you at a later date or if they were just looking for a hook up for the night.

There are times that going in a pack is fine and normal.  Sporting events, fairs, girls or guys night out, and concerts are just a few situations in where it is common to see larger groups or packs of people out together.  In these situations though, a meeting with a possible date is more of a chance meeting rather then a design to meet someone.  The main intent on going out is not for looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, but for the event itself.

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