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Divorced, Single Parent – Relationships Not Happening

By Contrarian, on March 31st, 2009

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My friends started this BLOG and asked me to chime in with my comments. I am not a very good writer and I still recall the pain in school trying to write essays for class.

I’m in my 40′s, divorced, with a teen daughter; I live comfortably since my ex makes a good living in his families business, and he has always been fair with his contributions to us. He is already remarried (it only took 6 months!) and the new wife is 10 years younger than me. There are no fights about my daughters visits, so he holds up his end in that regard also.

Now my observations – the men I date are usually in their mid-50′s since the men my age, whether they are divorced or the rare never married variety, are after the 30 year old group. Not that I am complaining since my dates have all been gentlemen and treated my well. But I have given up hope for that “thunderclap” to ever happen again. Relationships now are very civilized; no more midnight skinny dips in the hotel pools on the weekend get-a-ways.

Sometimes I am very happy (Or should I say content) with the situation but there is still that crazy girl whispering in my ear. I did try the other way – by that I mean younger men – and no, we don’t want to go there again. They seem to be in it for the thrill in my experience.

Anyway I thought I open this topic for discussion and see what experiences anyone else has had. I guess we all feel better the have company in our misery.

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March 31st, 2009 | Category: Single Parents | 4 comments

4 comments to Divorced, Single Parent – Relationships Not Happening

  • Contrarian contrarian
    May 20th, 2009 at 10:28 am

    I grew up in Georgia and your right, my Mama would flip in her grave if she saw me when I approach men. I do it, of course, but I have to swallow hard and grit my teeth first. I think some of men friends are laughing as they think it is the ultimate revenge.

  • Ms. Soulmate Ms. Soulmate
    May 20th, 2009 at 10:16 am

    Amen to that Blake. Our problem (I mean women) is we have been ingrained not to approach men. Don’t get me wrong – I personally see no problem with it but many of us had that dictum pounded in our heads by mothers and grandmothers. “Nice” girls don’t do that. So moving many of us to that idea is a slow process. I won’t speak for anyone else, but I wish more of you ladies would step-out and assert yourselves. Men have been on the hot seat for years so now its our turn! At least when the stubborn man we want to meet won’t move!

  • Blake Tyler
    May 16th, 2009 at 9:12 pm

    Hi Contrarian-
    Thank you and great post by the way, I hope you continue to write!
    I must say, age is just a strange number, really. I know we are always told that, but someone can be 28 and be an old fart and others can be 60 and still so young at heart.

    The most important thing to do is to keep meeting new people. Always. It doesn’t mean you have to go on fancy dates with all of them, but quick lunches here and there can’t hurt. And if you find that guys aren’t taking the innitiative to start conversation, then YOU start the conversation. Who cares?! He sure as hell doesn’t, he would probably be delighted if you were to “break the ice”, or initiate.

    For a lot of younger guys, yea, it is about the thrill. My girlfriend is 5 years older then me, and the ways we connected so well were due primarily on an emotional and intellectual level. Not just physical.

    And besides, what’s wrong with being a little wild and crazy sometimes?? It’s when it gets out of hand and becomes too frequent when there may be conflicts.

    Spontaneity brings such exhiliration to the experiences! It’s what makes situations fun and often life long memories that bring a warm smile to your face.

    No body is judging you besides yourself, so enjoy your time while you still can.

    - Blake -

  • Ms. Soulmate Ms. Soulmate
    March 31st, 2009 at 10:59 am

    Your writing is just fine – don’t worry. Unfortunately I am at a different place in my life so I cannot intelligently comment. But thanks and keep up the good thoughts.

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