Soulmate BLOG

Dating is risky business of the heart to begin with, but when you dabble with the thought of dating a friend, it can get even riskier. Dating a long time best friend is not taboo but a lot of thought should be taken on the matter prior to the venture. Ask yourself if your friendship is strong enough to last if a dating relationship doesn’t. If you have reservations on that answer, ask your self if dating a long time friend is worth losing that friendship should the relationship not pan out.

Our life partner should also be our best friend, however when the cart is put before the horse, more times the not the horse stumbles. Whether it breaks its leg on the cart is up to how strong and solid the horse is to start with. If the friendship is a strong and solid one and has been through its up and downs with a greater understand and respect for one another as the outcome of disagreements then it may have a solid chance in the dating world and develop into a more committed one in time. However if the relationship has had its up and downs and through those times, periods of breaks, then attempting a dating relationship would not be a wise idea.

Another thing to take into consideration is what form of friendship you have with the other person. Is your friendship a platonic one or do you lean on one another during dating slumps for sexual gratification and companionship comfort. Basically, are you friends with benefits? If the relationship has always been a strictly platonic one you may want to ask yourself if the true reason you want to explore a dating relationship with this person is sexual curiosity. If you find that you often fantasize on what it would be like to have sexual relations with your long time friend, your desire to date this person may be based solely off sexual reason. This is not a good reason to date a friend and risk losing the long time friendship.

If your friend doubles as a friend and a bootie call (friends with benefits) then there may be a good chance things will work out. You know the reason for wanting to take it to a deeper level is not based off sex, you done been there so the mutual attraction level has progressed. This is a good thing; just know though that if for whatever reasons a dating or deeper relationship with this friend does not work out you can bet that the friends with benefits arrangement would be over as well.

There are pros and cons to dating someone who was always a friend. The pros are that you already have a strong indication of who your friend is as a person, their beliefs, likes, dislikes, morals, and values so it only goes to say that you have been able to work out your differences and still appreciate each other for who they are. You are bound to have common interest and mutual friends at this point. This takes all the worry if her or his friends will like you. Moreover, depending on the depth of your friendship you probably already know all the annoying habits your friend has and still care about them regardless. You haven’t felt the need to change them to fit into your life, they already do. These are all great things to build a relationship off.

Now for the cons of dating someone who was always a friend. The biggest con of course is the possible risk of losing a friend if the relationship does not work. If that happens not only are you losing a long time friend but a lover as well. It is like double whammy and with double whammy comes the risks of twice the emotional intensity of the break. You have to deal with mutual friends picking sides and risking losing other friends on top of the broken relationship.

If you really know your friend well you can discuss all of these pros and cons openly before ensuing a deeper relationship. Communication is key in any relationship so starting a deeper relationship with a friend that you have been able communicate openly for years already may not be such a bad thing to try.

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