Dating Just to Say You Are?
Do your friends call you a serial dater? Do you go out with several different people throughout a month? Do you have a tendency to avoid committing or are your relationships short lived? Could you be addicted to dating or do you just go out on a lot of dates just to be dating period? There is nothing wrong with dating around and it is actually encourage if you are looking for a life partner. The more experience you have with dating the better you are at being able to tell who is sincere and who is in it for the game but you had better be careful that you do not find yourself in it for the game. Becoming a serial dater can make it hard for you when you begin to decide to settle down. The excitement of meeting new people constantly in your life can be a adrenaline rush and when settling down with just one person that constant euphoric high that you have become accustom to will no longer be. This can spell disaster.
If you have found yourself rambling around on dating sites, single clubs, or other popular locations to make hook ups on a regular basis for an extended period of time without having established any serious relationships of any tenure you may be a serial dater. A serial dater is similar to an addiction. They have an addiction to the high of new connections, good or bad. Some women have actually been known to be a serial dater just to be a ball buster. A ball buster is a female who goes out of their way to make a man feel uncomfortable, inadequate, and sometimes less then desirable in the dating arena. They may hype the male up to believe she is totally interested only to break him down (otherwise, ball bust) and they take great pleasure and pride in doing so. They think in their mind that they are doing other females a favor by “putting men in their place” where in reality they can make a potential and viable mate give up on the whole dating scene if they have come across more then none of these serial daters.
Another form of serial dater is the player dater that is in it for the scorecards. Typically, this is a male but it has been known to be done by women just as well. The more conquers they make the better they feel about themselves. It is their way of raising their ego and in most of these situations, the player has a low commitment level to anything in their life and if truth be known, they have a very low self-esteem and use the “conquers” to help build it. They generally feel inadequate. They use their numbers to disguise their inadequacies. A player builds a reputation and when they are ready to finally settle down because they have outplayed their territory, they find it very difficult to find anyone who will give them the time of day. They have lost any credibility of trustworthiness and often have to relocate to where no one knows them to find a suitable mate. However, the player can become part of their hard drive in their being and re-emerge when they become bored or a relationship gets too comfortable. Buyer beware of the player.
Another type of frequent dater is the one who really has never learned how to date regardless of how many dates they have had. They have many first dates but never seem to make it to the second date. They repeat the same mistakes with each new date and blame it on never finding the right person. Eventually all their first dates start out the same. They go right into a discussion about what bad luck they have had dating and that they do not think they will ever find the right person. They go on to list all that is wrong with them in thinking that coming totally clean on the first date will eliminate any waste of time as well as make them appear open, honest and forthcoming. However, the reality is they appear needy, pathetic, and a definite turn off. When dating, you should always put your best foot forward. There is plenty of time to divulge the baggage slowly on later dates.
When you own frequent flyer miles in the dating arena, problems can arise such as being caught in an awkward position of running into a previous date while out on a new date. Serial dater leave a trail of people behind that may have actual developed an interest in them leaving hurt feelings and the risk of picking up a stalker or two along the way. If you have no intentions of settling down or becoming serious with any one individual it is wise to let interested parties know prior to dating your intent. You can tell them that you are not interested at this time of getting serious with anyone and just be polite and honest about seeing other people. Yes, you may lose a few dates because of your honesty; however, you will be less likely to be grouped into the category of player dater or ball buster.
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